I’m having a hard time writing. I guess my mind’s on other things or just going through a slump or something. Wish I could just write one god damn story! Just one!
Once there was a cat. He died later from old age.
Bam. Story.
Wodehouse, Caravaggio, Hemingway
Last night I was thinking about PG Wodehouse and how he lived a long and happy life and Caravaggio and how he died at 37 a wanted man. Wodehouse was happy to write comedies that the public enjoyed. A lot of them. And they really are masterfully done. People don’t give comedy enough credit I guess. So I was thinking I should consider what the public wants, too. If I write true and honestly, like Hemingway, that means I have to consider the world in a realistic way and that’s bound to lead toward depression and suicide or at least early death at the end of a strange and baleful journey. If I write some fantasy/comedy/thriller stuff, then my writing will be like an escape from reality in a way. Can I do that? I don’t know.
But I do know I don’t like this theme. It’s a good way of seeing time passing, but it’s kind of ugly. So I think I’ll change it to the theme that you’ll be reading this in…whatever that ends up being.
Back to the Drawing Board Again
Well the more I think about the big Eurotrip my girlfriend and I are supposed to take next year and the cost of law school and all my debts the more I think I should sell some stories or something. I just can’t keep the same perspective for more than a few days.
I got back on the blogs and updated all of them today. I was thinking I was just going to sit down and write some stories or something, but I spent an hour doing that. I think it was well spent as it was fun and it’s good to stay connected and so on.
Almost lunch time now. But I guess I can still get some writing in before that. The only thing at this point keeping me from selling a story is that I don’t have a story to sell. Even a bad story can be sold. Maybe I can go on Kickstarter and sell a story that isn’t even written yet.
That Went Well
I guess I just wrote that last post and forgot all about it.
My landlord is creeping about outside. What is he doing? He just circled the house and left. I waved at him but I guess he didn’t see me. I know that last rent check bounced, too, and went over to give him a new one, but he said he didn’t know anything about it and would let me know if something came up.
Well, anyway, it’s been less than two weeks since I last posted, so that’s progress for you.
I bought a little notebook and I’ve been writing in it, just normal stuff.
I have more mental space for writing, it seems, now that I’ve decided on my course for the next few years (law school). It’s strange because when I think I’m going to make my living from writing, those are the times that I write the least. It becomes less fun, more fraught with meaning and pressure.
But in general I have been writing less these last couple of weeks because I’ve been visiting friends and having friends visit and there has been much drinking and carousing. And it seems I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out transportation situations.
I hope to go to a cafe before work and write a little bit. I never believe I will be, but it usually proves true that I am more productive if I leave the house. I have fallen back in love with going buying expensive cappuccinos at pretentious coffee houses and writing in expensive black notebooks with relatively cheap black pens.
Break
Wow it’s been over two weeks since I posted. I didn’t mean for this to happen, obviously. But it’s strange. I think it amounts to a loss of faith. I go through this sort of thing. I get these ideas and I start with great relish and slowly taper off, or rather, quickly fall off. One day I’m into it and the next day I wake up and say, ah that will never work.
I will try to fight the urge to give up. Pushing through.
Since I last posted I’ve decided definitely to go to law school, so I’ve been studying for the LSAT and am going to take it in June. I think I can get a perfect score (because I’m really good at tests) and then I should be able to get into most law schools. But I heard yesterday from a lawyer that jobs are harder to come by. I thought at least the legal profession would be shielded from the recession but I guess not.
I think since the last time I posted I watched Midnight in Paris and the scenes with Hemingway in them made me want to read his stuff again. And my coworker is reading A Moveable Feast so I think I will read that soon. What a life, drinking and writing in Paris.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my writing style and how it doesn’t come natural to me to do the Henry James complicated syntax sentences, but those are the kinds of sentences I think I should write since they seem to represent true skill with writing, but in the end they are not the kinds of sentences I really enjoy reading, because I guess I’m a lazy reader and just like straightforward writing. Like Hemingway. So maybe I’ll try to write like that.
That being said I still haven’t really written anything fiction-wise.
I’ll make an effort to post more frequently, aka daily, and write, even though my main focus right now is LSAT prep. And making money at work to pay for law school.
Quick Saturday Update
Saturdays are generally the days I can’t get anything done because I’m chilling with my girlfriend in the morning and then working all night, but I thought I could throw down a few sentences while she’s fixing her hair.
I only slept four hours last night and it totally killed my productivity/creativity/mood. I used to thrive on four hours sleep but I guess that part of my life is over.
I wrote a few sentences in the coffee shop just on sketch paper and that was fun.
And that’s about it for today got to go!
New Theme?
This theme is supposed to highlight your archives or some such. I thought since this is a slow moving journey, maybe it’s best to just highlight how much time is passing, rather than each post individually. It’s kind of my new philosophy, anyway, that each day builds on the next, slowly.
Love it hate it let me know.
Today I’m pretty much going to do the same thing I did yesterday, just because that was so much fun. My girlfriend is going to be away tomorrow so I’ll have the day free to do some more writing, and maybe some administrative work if I feel like it. I don’t feel like it today, other than changing my theme. The other one, Oulipo, was really cool, but somehow I didn’t feel it served exactly the purpose I was going for. I really like how it capitalized the first line of type though, really cool.
I’ve got almost two hours. I’m going to make some coffee, listen to The Xx, and just type a bunch of nonsense and see if anything comes out of it.
When I got to work yesterday and thought of the day I spent writing for fun, I was happy with it.
Writing for Fun
Today has been a pretty good day on the writing front. I have to get ready and go off to work pretty soon, but I’ve put in about two hours just writing whatever was in my head, in a fiction-y sort of way, and listening to music. And just trying to enjoy it without thinking whether it would become a book, or worse, whether it would sell.
I decided while I was reading over some of the stuff I wrote a couple days ago that I should just try writing for fun and see how that goes, instead of putting all this pressure on me to create something.
It has worked today, we’ll see about tomorrow.
Soon I’ll need to do some “nuts and bolts” stuff. Like set up a mailing list to tell people when stories come out. That’s the most recent post I read from David Gaughran. As soon as his new book comes out, Let’s Get Visible, I’ll have to tear that up. That will count as some work toward my goal.
Thanks to all the new followers. Much love to all.
And if you guys want a look at what I’ve been writing (even though it’s all nonsensical, ridiculous, and nowhere near a finished product), you can check out my basically secret blog just called Fiction.
The Noise
I go through mood swings and changes in philosophy practically every four hours or so.
I woke up this morning ready to do all this blogging stuff and whatnot, and I checked my email and saw the new Zen Habits post about not letting insignificant details take over your life. It made sense and I’ve been thinking about Henry David Thoreau and what the hell am I really doing in life ever since.
But then I never really get away from thinking “what the hell am I really doing in life.”
So my girlfriend and I walked to the T so she could go to school and I walked back, trying to really enjoy the walk or get something out of it, like Thoreau might. I’m sure he had all the answers.
I’ve been thinking back to all the blog posts and random things I have read over the last month, and maybe it’s just too much information. Maybe it just becomes so much noise.
Shit I don’t know. I think today I’ll take a break and try to figure things out. Or just write a story in a notebook. Anyway I have yet to figure out how to write a story! So I’ll try to figure that out. So much to figure out.
In other news, a surprising amount of people found my last post and liked it (thanks to ya’ll for that). So that was really cool. Maybe it was the title or the tags that brought you here.
If you care to share how you found this post, please do.
Some Vague Notions About Something I Might Do Sometime
Chilling at the crib over here just drinking some hot tea with spice infused milk and honey, living in the land of giants. Eating some panettone that my girlfriend made at school today.
Well, basically just trying not to stress over this blog and the stories and whatnot.
Yesterday I tore into some writing, trying to come up with a story. But it’s crazy, I don’t really know how to even write a story! I always start with some weird premise and some vague idea of a scene and try to go with that, but it just doesn’t turn into a story. There’s no plot, nothing is revealed about the person, they just usually end up running out of the scene.
So I’ve really got to figure out how to do that if I’m going to sell any stories.
I’m thinking right away I’ll put the story up on Wattpad when it’s finished. My girlfriend reads stories on there all the time and she says it’s cool.
Today I was at work all day and just got home a bit ago, so haven’t had time to make any progress on the project other than just thinking about it and thinking of things to do and breathing exercises or what.
This blog theme looks cool, but I think that I could improve it somehow.
I was thinking at work today, what do I want to have accomplished by the end of the week? Normally I’m with Leo over at Zen Habits on not having any goals. But I was thinking in one week a lot could happen. Like I could write a story or get an idea for one or something. I don’t know. I’m just talking crazy now because I guess I’m falling asleep.
Tomorrow I have a few free hours before work so I’ll let you know what I did before I go to work. Hopefully it will be something crazy awesome!
Building Rome 